I know you love me and I like it when you treat me like dirt…

I really, really, and I mean really want to understand.  I try to.  But in the end I just get all sorts of pissed off.  Maybe it’s because I’m a guy.  Maybe it’s because I’m so level-headed about everything.  Logical.  At least, that’s what my friends tell me.  I reason everything away.  And maybe it’s because love can’t be reasonable *gags*.  But why – I mean why are there so many young adult books out there with love interest boy being total jerks and the girls still fawns over him?  But he loves me.  Obviously not, he treats you like dirt.  Even the animals that the humane society rescues are treated better by their abusive owners.

Sure, so girls like bad boys.  But at one point, shouldn’t you realize that all that degrading talk down is bad.  Or the fact that he leaves whenever he likes and comes back whenever he likes and berates you verbally every chance he gets is not very loving, but the girl still takes him back.  Ummm…. hello?  Haven’t you seen domestic abuse posters?  Or ads?  Domestic abuse involves verbal abuse too.  The ways those boy treat the girls in these young adult books are exactly the way abusive spouses/boyfriend treat their battered women.  They make them feel like crap and make the women believe that they can’t live without them (the abusive men).  Sounds familiar?  It should because that’s what you see in these young adult novels.  The bad boy “hot” dude and the way he treats the girl (usually protagonist/hero).  It’s ugly and nasty.  And it makes me angry that they can get away with it in the guise of: it’s fiction and a fantasy.  Tell that to the women who gets abused everyday by their real life “hot bad” boys.  Yes, go up to them, look them in their broken souled eyes and tell them:  “You are living my dream right now.  I wished my boyfriend/husband loved me like yours.  I wished to be belittled just like you.  It’s my dream.  I read it in books and love it.  I want your life.”

Yeah, it sounds awful doesn’t it.  Ridiculous.  I know.  Why would anyone say that to a woman who has been abused verbally and/or physically.  Yes, these bad boys in books – most have not abused the girls physically, but at the rate these books are popping out I wouldn’t be surprise that one day a punch to the eye would = love and <3.  The blacker the black eye the deeper the love for the girl is.

I’m not trying to be funny.  It’s not a laughing matter.  I’m trying to reveal the insane reasoning behind these books.  What happened to charm and wit?  The subtle touch against the back of the neck that raises goosebumps?  The warm blow of breath to the ear that makes a shiver run down your spine.  The soft coy words of love.  When they pull away, where’s the regret.  The hurt in the guy’s eyes.  I mean a simple, “I don’t want to hurt you,” with a pained expression enough.  “I don’t want you.”  “I don’t love you anymore.”  Or the suggestions that the girl is “just an easy lay/tease/fun thing” (paraphrased) is not needed.  But of course, all those things just shows readers and the girl that he really does love the girl.  I’ll keep it in mind when I love someone with all my heart I’ll tell them, “You were an easy lay and I don’t really love you.”  That should tell the person I love that my love is unending and deep.  *vomits*

I’ll be up front.  I’ve never been in love.  Never.  I’m a guarded guy.  Heck, even the friends I make, I choose very carefully.  But I do think that if I truly loved someone, in the way these couples do/should or are portrayed… I won’t have the heart to tell the person I hate them or say nasty things to them.  I won’t purposely say means things to push them away.  I’ll probably be silent if I were in their positions… shy away and not say anything.  Be quiet about the whole thing.  Disappear.  Sure, I by those moments.  But the mean hateful words?  The near violence gestures?  Yeah, I won’t be able to do it.  I love my friends.  I do.  Few times have I raised my voice at them, but in those few times I quickly become embarrassed and stop myself.  I can’t ever tell the person I love I don’t love them.  So I guess it’s just my personality.  I just can’t fathom why being rude, mean, and hurtful = being attractive.

It makes me unsympathetic to both characters involved.  I hate them both with a fiery passion and I hope they die a painful and long death and even in the after life I hope they suffer in intense pain for eternity so bad that they might even die in the after life only to be brought back to life again to be instantly tortured to death again a gazillion trillion billion million times over again.  After that, I’ll tear the pages of the book out to use them as a fire starter for my grill and I will do it gleefully.  I’m just thankful I didn’t waste my money on the books (borrowed copies) but I pitied the trees destroyed to make the pages of the poor tasted book.  The sad thing is… most of these books have the capacity to be an interesting enjoyable book without the abuse.

Educate me. Tell me. How is it attractive? Is it just me? Or do you feel the same? I don’t think I can stand another abusive guy. *coughs Ms. Clare*…

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4 responses to “I know you love me and I like it when you treat me like dirt…

  1. I’ve been wondering this for years! WTF. I mean I’m okay with a bad boy who is verbally abusive and all…if the girl is repulsed by him and if being around her changes him. Then AFTER the change…when she finds out why he’d be so guarded, she can move to forgive the childish banter…but I said childish banter like “you smell like poo” not “You the ugliest B**** who would ever want you?”..

    I love mean guys, but I wouldn’t date one unless they treated me like an angel… then I could evilly laugh at everyone they treat like crap, because you know what? He’s a great guy to me. Yes, that makes me a slightly terrible person, but you know what I’m not? A battered dog looking for a beating. *Cough Clare, Black, Cough Cough…Half the YA section*

  2. Oh yes, the “I can change him” “I’m the special one who can alter his life” reasons… and I agree. If the girl did change him by being around. By perservering, and being the nice girl and the guy softens and changes – If that was the case, I would buy it. But that means the guys have to be mean from the start, not later when they fall in “love” with these girls (which is usually the case)… witty banter is not being mean and rude and it doesn’t qualify as a bad boy. But the reasons most of the time these guys are mean is because they want to “protect” the girl, after being nice to the girl, after being friends with the girl.

    And in the end, the bad boys aren’t really bad boys, but jerks. Bad boys don’t act like these wannabes… they are hurtful to everyone and I mean EVERYONE. They go against reason. They kill because they can and they think it’s right. They break rules because rules hinders them. They shoot first and ask questions later regardless of the consquences. These are bad boys. But the guys in YA, they’re wannabes. Little boys who think they are bad boys, who still follows the rules but moans and groans about it. Who thinks sneaking out at night is a big no no. *snorts* OOoooOO, they’re such bad boys (<- sarcasm).

    And your second point, agreed. Sure they can be rude, bad, abrasive, but they should be likable because they're nice to the protaganist/hero.

    Granted, that is to say… I still enjoy some of these books, but I would immensely enjoy them more if they were written well, the bad in these boys taken further, starting from the very beginning. If you're going to make a certain archtype of character, push them all the way. Sure the first few wannabe bad boys were fine and I liked them okay, now they're like the tools who pop their collars and think it's cool and different.

  3. I know you posted this a while ago, but I only just followed recently, so was looking for interesting posts to entertain myself. That was one of the best reviews ever! I loved it XD It was hilarious (please take no offense, just found it really funny haha~). I haven’t heard of this book or seen it anywhere, but from what you wrote here I figured it’s probably not worth the effort to pick up. It reminds me of the long complaints I had with my friends over totally pointless books which didn’t deserve the “trees destroyed to make the pages of the poor tasted book” (referencing you haha). Awesome review, keep it up!

    • Hehe… thanks…. I was trying to off put the rage and when I’m annoyed I get snarky… guess it worked. This isn’t ona specific book persay but on YA genre as a whole… a review on the bad boy arch type as a whole. 😀

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